Craft with a toddler AKA stupidity

“I want to make a project”.

The answer should have been “well too bad for you”.

She has a snotty nose.  She’d been whingeing all morning. 

Stupidity is my name.  

I saw on FB that you can shrink recyclable plastics in the oven and make shrinky dinks. Well supposedly.

First mistake… You use permanent markers.  Hello… Permanent markers.  What was I thinking? 

I tried to make them nice.  It was hard hard hard work making sure she wasn’t drawing on herself or furniture.  I tried to cut them with a shape punch…FYI that won’t work.  

They looked barely OK.  No,  truthfully they look terrible. 

Now for the “magic” shrinking in the oven. I need a shrink for even thinking it might work.

It didn’t. 

They look like weird curled pathetic rubbish.  They didn’t uncurl to reveal their marvel as the FB tutorial suggested they would.

Nevertheless,  I ploughed onwards.  I would somehow make this into the project goal: a suncatcher. 

Mistake two: Take Miss Bee out to find a stick to hang them off. Of course the little devil does a runner and refuses to come inside.  I direct her to come inside. She screams, refuses…  Runs off more.  My patience runs too. It runs thin.  I yell “Fine then stay outside” and close the backdoor. 

Which brings her running in a flood of tears. I’m over her tyranny. She thinks she can rule the house. 

She comes inside,  I show her the pretty glittery thread we’ll use to attach the mangled sun shrinks to the stick.  It will look very odd but she seems to like the thread.  For 5 seconds.

Now she wants a drink.  NOW.  In this yellow cup. Ok…. Deep breathing… Make the drink.  Watch as she immediately spills some of the drink on the floor.  That floor was perfect and vacuumed on Friday.  It’s Tuesday and my hard work is nearly undone.  

Now it’s got sticky cordial on it.  

What are you doing? No…  Oh my goodness  NO!  STOP!  LISTEN… NO?  yellow isn’t the preferred cup now she grabbed a different cup and pours into that one… Missing completely. The floor is a bath of sticky cordial.  

The much whinged for project lies unfinished.  I am done. I yell. Get to your room NOW.  THE PROJECT is swept up.

I don’t want to see this project finished.  I just want a cordial free floor and a listening toddler.

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